A healthy family is a safe family Published Sept. 29, 2009 By Michelle E. Sanders 71st Medical Group Family Advocacy program VANCE AIR FORCE BASE, Okla. -- Conflict is natural and normal. It's how we choose to handle conflict that counts. Conflict dealt with constructively can actually increase emotional intimacy. During October, Domestic Violence Awareness month, the Vance Family Advocacy program encourages all families to take steps to create tighter bonds. Research shows that spending quality time together, sharing meals, providing encouragement, support, actively listening and problem-solving as a family unit helps keep families healthy. A healthy family is a safe family. All families, both with children and without, are invited to take the Family Advocacy family language improvement plan challenge. Take one or two ideas from each of the four categories listed below and try them for at least a week. If you discover your family needs help learning some new conflict resolutions skills, contact Family Advocacy at 213-7419. Think outside the box Take a walk Throw the football around Play freeze tag Have a thumb war Play Frisbee golf Play charades Play a round of hangman Board game night Family karaoke night Volunteer as a family Random act of dance moment Make it safe Take breaks from talking when frustrated Apologize right away when you hurt someone Make amends Listen, really listen Repeat back some of what someone says to show that you are interested Hold back on advice giving Expect mistakes and let them be learning moments Brainstorm solutions to problems together in family meetings Reject the idea of perfectionism Do something nice unprompted Do someone's least favorite chore for them Value meal Eat meals together Cook together Make someone's favorite food as an honor Decorate place settings Have breakfast for dinner Go have lunch with your child or spouse at school or work Have a picnic Share things you are thankful for before meals Eat outside for fun and to mix things up During meals share about the day's successes and challenges for each family member Invent crazy, cool deserts together Life up Provide encouragement Praise deeds and actions versus people Give compliments Notice positive behaviors and choices Leave a caring note in a backpack, lunch, briefcase or gym bag Say thank you Catch someone doing something good Text a positive message E-mail an inspirational message or quote Write a gratitude letter Create a silly award and give it Make or buy a special card and give it