Seek base agencies for assistance with improving relationships

  • Published
  • By Maj. Ronald Johnson
  • 71st Medical Group Life Skills
Vance Air Force Base, Okla. --  Relationships with the ones we love are among the most powerful and meaningful relationships known.
When we think of things bringing contentment and happiness, we are likely to think of the ones we love.
This does not mean keeping these relationships working and growing happens without effort. On the contrary, as time passes, healthy relationships require work and sacrifice to keep them developing in a healthy manner. The good news is, with all that hard work and sacrifice, our most important relationships can bear fruit, making the effort worthwhile.
But what are the elements helping make relationships strong and keep them healthy? Obviously there are many factors, but I would like to address just a few.
First, keep the lines of communication open. When there is good communication or an effective way of handling difficulties, large problems become small and small problems disappear. When communication is poor, little issues become big and big issues are impossible. If you and your spouse are too busy and communication is a problem, try setting an appointment with each other at least once a week to sit down and discuss concerns and ways to overcome them.
Second, take time to discuss how chores and responsibilities are divided in the relationship. This can be a very problematic area, and if it is not discussed openly and honestly, resentment can build and bring negative feelings into the relationship. Individuals do not like to be taken advantage of and fairness is a hallmark of a healthy relationship. This should be a recurring issue to deal with as the relationship evolves and circumstances change.
Lastly, don't take each other for granted. When a relationship is just beginning, everything is new and exciting. As a relationship matures, there is a tendency for things to be viewed as routine. Though to some extent this change is a natural process, it is false to conclude this means the relationship will become stale. There is still plenty in a long-term relationship that can be exciting and there are always new things to find out and experience with your partner.
One way to view this is to continue to "court" or "date" even after marriage and children enter the picture. A long-term committed relationship creates a stable environment for love and respect to grow in ways that newer relationships just can't provide.
Despite our best intentions and efforts, there are times when relationships need help from an outside source in order to continue to improve. This help can be found in several different places depending on the various needs of those involved. Chaplains and ministers are usually well equipped to help with relationship problems. Marital and couples therapy can also be accessed through the life skills supports center where it can be provided in-house or referred to a civilian provider through Tricare. The family support center also has a program specifically designed for marital-type issues through Air Force OneSource. This program offers counseling with civilian providers at no cost to active duty and their family members. Take advantage of this program by calling (800) 707-5784. If financial counseling is needed, the family support center is available by appointment by calling 6330. For chaplain assistance, call 7211. For a life skills appointment, call 7419.
Long lasting relationships require effort and nourishment. If you are ever in need of extra help in order to improve your relationships, don't hesitate to contact one of the agencies listed above -- it will be well worth the time and effort.