Teen dating violence – a silent epidemic

  • Published
  • By Shawn Kelley
  • 71st Medical Operations Squadron Family Advocacy
VANCE AIR FORCE BASE, Okla. --  Parenting a teenager can be the most challenging and difficult years for any parent.

Giving your teen a chance to establish their own identity through independence is essential to helping them establish their own place in the world, but this must also be balanced with setting appropriate boundaries and expectations to ensure safety.

And there are the talks that must take place. Talks about drugs and alcohol, sex, bullying and peers.

However, one important talk that can get overlooked is dating violence, a silent epidemic.

The Bureau of Justice Statistics website states young women ages 16-24 are the most vulnerable age group for dating violence. Yet when it does happen, nearly two-thirds of teens don't tell anyone, including their parents.

Teens and young adults are likely the most vulnerable to dating violence due to their inexperience with relationships as well as pressure to be in relationships.

Many may have unrealistic romanticized views of love and can miss critical red flags of an abusive relationship. Young men may be pressured to control and be aggressive with their partner as a sign of masculinity.

How can parents help? The first step is to open up a dialogue about the topic. The following are a few tips of how parents can navigate this successfully.

Help your teen understand what it means to be in a healthy relationship by asking them their definition. It's important to listen to what they have to say. Remember, this is a dialogue and not a lecture.

When it's your turn, reinforce the idea they should never feel pressured, unsafe or be hurt in a relationship.

You may also want to share the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship including attempts by their partner to isolate them from family/friends, extreme jealousy, controlling behavior, blaming others for problems and threats of violence.

Remind them you are always there to help and are open for them to come and talk to you.
It is understandable there might be awkward moments during the conversation, but having the conversation can prevent abuse.

Dating violence crosses all socioeconomic and racial groups. It is about using violence to obtain power and control of the victim.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month. Talk to your children about this important issue. For more information on the subject, contact the Family Advocacy Program, 213-7419.