Bitter or better – you have a choice Published Aug. 20, 2013 By Col. David Chiesa 71st Medical Group commander VANCE AIR FORCE BASE, Okla. -- Circumstances...they affect you every day. Some you know about. Others come without expectation. Some are thrilling, others scary. They are part of our everyday life and through our individualism, we will react differently to our life circumstances. Think about some past circumstances you have had. How did you react to them? Your reaction most likely made you either a "bitter" or a "better" person. For example, let's say you just received the results of a college final and found you had failed. You probably were bitter at first. But then what? Did you study harder the next time or did you give up and throw your dream away? Bitter or better? There is an old story about a man named Joseph who had many brothers that were jealous of him. The brothers conspired against Joseph and tossed him into a deep dry well to die. Joseph was rescued by a traveling caravan and was sold in Egypt as a servant to a high-ranking Egyptian official. Joseph worked very hard each day and gained the confidence of the Egyptian official who made him in charge of all his possessions. Falsely accused of attempted relations with the official's wife, Joseph was sent to prison. Joseph was so well liked by the prison guards and prisoners that he was given the job as head of the prison. A few years later, through circumstances and his willingness, Joseph rose to be second only to the Pharaoh in all of Egypt. Joseph's response to become "better" through his extremely harsh circumstances was to transform each setback into a step forward. He chose to become better through each circumstance. Look at the gain for choosing to be better. Joseph's recognition did not come overnight. It required more than a decade. That is perseverance to be better instead of bitter. Let's say we all begin life as a lump of clay. Clay in its natural state is worth just pennies. However, within each piece of clay there is great potential to become a useful vessel or art worth thousands of dollars. The potter's wheel, in which the clay is fashioned, can be viewed as the circumstances that come your way in your journey through life. Sometimes the wheel is spinning fast and your life is moving rapidly. And sometimes life is moving slow. Whether fast or slow, these circumstances shape you into some type of vessel. A better attitude towards life keeps the clay moist and easy to shape. Bitter causes dryness of the clay and distorts or prevents the clay being shaped to its full potential. However -- remember from your art classes -- clay can be re-moistened and then shaped into a fabulous vessel. Now stop a minute and ask yourself, is there a part of me that is dry right now? Again, it's a choice. Bitter or better? If you react bitterly to most circumstances that enter your life, there are a variety of paths to assist you in becoming better. Call a family member, your wingman, a friend, family support, your supervisor or commander. Other resources could be a chaplain or Mental Health. Seek assistance from where you feel you can best be re-moistened so your life can be fashioned into its full potential. Perhaps you can identify with one or more of Joseph's hardships. He was betrayed and deserted by family, exposed to temptations and punished for doing the right thing. Even when circumstances are overwhelming, there is always someone worse off than you. It is easy to become bitter. However, it is also easy to become better. You choose and the rest will follow. When you find yourself bitter, look at historical events. Better always wins. Remember Joseph.