Mentor, protege relationships benefit personal, professional lives

  • Published
  • By Maj. Dennis Hunt
  • 71st Comptroller Squadron
Vance Air Force Base, Okla. --  Joey: In my spare time, I read to the blind. And I'm also a mento, for kids.
Interviewer: A mento?
Joey: You know, a mento. A role-model.
Interviewer: A mento. Like the candy?
Joey: As a matter of fact, I do.
-- Friends, NBC-TV, Episode 8-19
In the above interchange from the Friends episode, character Joey Tribbiani attempts to impress a Soap Opera Digest interviewer by revealing he is a mentor. Indeed, mentorship is an admirable calling, and we all can benefit from seeking out a mentor and protégé relationship.
In order to understand the benefits you can obtain from a mentor, it is important to know what a mentor is, how the relationship is formed, some of the relationship criteria and a few keys to successful mentoring.
Nearly everyone has heard the term mentor, but what is a mentor and what is the value of a mentor and protégé relationship? One dictionary defines mentor as "a wise and trusted teacher or counselor." Notice this definition doesn't limit who you can seek as a mentor.
One of the best pieces of advice I heard was to find mentors who didn't look or think like me. To use a Star Wars analogy, Yoda served as Luke's mentor and was instrumental in his development in using "The Force" for good.
How does the mentor and protégé relationship occur? Sometimes, the protégé is chosen by the mentor. In this instance, the mentor has observed the prospective protégé and seen certain attributes or potential he or she feels is worth developing. The mentor will approach the potential protégé and initiate the relationship.
When I was a first lieutenant about to pin on captain, I was blessed with the opportunity of a mentoring session with a colonel in my career field. He asked what my career goals and priorities in life were. After that discussion, he helped me design potential road maps to the goals we discussed.
The more common method of initiating a mentor and protégé relationship is when you seek out a mentor to assist in obtaining personal or professional goals. This person can be anyone you feel has the potential to become a "trusted teacher." They may be the respected senior NCO or senior civilian in your office, a college professor or local business leader.
The basic goal is to find someone who can help you improve in areas that enhance your life. Therefore, when choosing a mentor, seek out people who demonstrate a desire to serve as a mentor and whom you trust will help you develop.
While serving as a petty officer in the Navy, I sought out mentors who stressed the importance of off-duty education and their collective counsel helped me obtain superior grades and a scholarship to a private university following the enlistment.
One key to establishing a productive mentor and protégé relationship is agreeing on specific boundaries on the relationship. By this, the level of support needs to be clear between the mentor and protégé.
For example, the protégé may expect advice on how to become a career field leader, but the mentor may think the protégé simply wants to enhance his or her technical skills. Furthermore, a time commitment must be made and understood by both parties. An expectation gap between the mentor and the protégé can lead to an unfulfilling relationship. Be candid.
Mentors must also be good listeners. In order to truly hear what the protégé is seeking, mentors must listen and understand what is being communicated, versus pontificating what he or she thinks.
Moreover, the mentor must create an atmosphere of learning. Challenges must be set by the mentor which are attainable but cause the protégé to grow in order to meet them - forcing the protégé out of his or her comfort zone. In turn, a protégé must rise to the challenges set by the mentor.
So, whether you want to be a protégé or serve as a "mento," there are keys to a productive relationship. One you agree to the boundaries and parameters of the relationship, invest time in it and set or meet the attainable goals, the impacts of the relationship will benefit both your personal and professional life.